Well, I reckon that I've been avoidin' this here day. I'd also a-reckon that I been procrastinatin' so that I won't have to report this past month's stats.(Maybe if I wait another day I'll lose 10 lbs. Ooo! Christmas chocolates buried in the back of the pantry! Ok. Tomorrow I'll weigh in and discover those 10 lbs. gone.)
But now I reckon I'd best fess up. (Sigh.)
I missed my April goal of dipping below the 200 mark. And I gained me three pounds since my last month-end. Bleck, pardner.
Current weight: 210. 8 down. 45-ish to go.
Current BMI: 30.13 Still overweight.
Current mood: Baby blue.
Exercise: Not very consistent--about 1/2 the month.
Sodas: Not too bad--about 1 a day average unless I eat out.
Well, I reckon I could'a done a mite better.
And since I know there's a bright side to all of this, here's what I learned:
My stomach knows best. It'll tell me when I'm hungry. I don't need to second-guess. Eat when I'm hungry, don't eat when I'm not. Easier said than done, I know! That's why I keep the emergency sugar-free Jell-O around in my individually-portioned tupperware. If I'm not sure if I'm really hungry or not, a bowl of Jell-O usually satisfies me.
The challenge: Late night cravings. I've done a great job sticking to sensible meals and snacks during the day. It's late night that does me in. I want brownie batter and cookies and pot roast and mini-wheats and a giant glass of milk and chocolates and chips and whatever else is around and easy to grab. I do have fruit cut up and ready to go in more individually-portioned tupperware, but it never sounds good at night. I want carbs or sweets or meat!! And I'm in the habit of eating while I read or work on the computer at night. Even worse, I've created a habit of wanting to eat when I snuggle into bed at night.
The plan of action: Go to sleep when I go to bed. I know this sounds silly, but I've been a night owl all my life. Even in high school I stayed up reading until 4am, slept for 4 hours, went to school, napped when I got home, did my homework, ate dinner, and read until 4am.
I can reduce the time I spend alone at night when everyone else is asleep if I'll just go to sleep at night instead of staying up. I am far more likely to eat when I'm bored and alone at night than when I'm up during the day. Even if I'm reading all day, I'm more likely to eat when it's night time. I enjoy being a night owl, but I'm beginning to realize that I perpetuate my insomnia by allowing myself to become bored at night.
I need to be mindful of emotional eating. I will admit it. After battling the brownie batter cravings for two weeks, I broke down and took a bowlful into bed and ate about 1/4 of it while reading. It was polished off 3 days later. I was sick to my stomach and had that awful chocolate-constipation and continued to stick spoonfuls into my mouth.
The challenge: It's like when I would go through depression and bouts of loneliness and I would truly have food coming up my esophagus and take one more bite. And then I'd get up and root around for something different to eat. (One night I ate a 6-pack of doughnuts and two pints of Ben and Jerry's before I ate a brick of brie, 2 baguettes, a box of edamame and olives. I believe I ate about 4000 calories in 3 hours.)
Something about being alone triggers cravings, and as I've mentioned, I feel isolated at night when everyone else is asleep. I love having this alone time so that I can goof off on the computer or read, but I need to be mindful of restless feelings.
The plan of action: If I'm reaching for food because I'm bored, it's time to pack it in and go to bed or find something engaging to do. I also need to stop looking for jobs or checking my bank balance at night because both of those activities depress me. I can also substitute nightime eating rituals with healthier options. I can drink hot tea or hot broth instead of eating pot roast. I can munch on bananas in milk instead of mini-wheats. And I can practice my breathing/meditation at night to get my body used to a different wind-down mechanism before sleep.
My stomach is a good communicator. I need to be a good listener. I have learned to understand my body's language. I can tell when I'm full and when I've eaten one bite too many. At home I'm pretty good about stopping when I'm full because I can just stick my uneaten portion back into the fridge. It's also easier eating out because I just announce that I'm done, push my plate away and box up the leftovers.
The challenge: It's been hard when I'm eating with others--having company over or eating with others. It feels rude to leave half my meal on the plate, so I eat it. And it's really hard to convince people that I don't want a full plate of food to begin with. We just associate feeding people with good manners and then we pile up the plates. I've traded in gorging myself because something tastes good with gorging myself because I don't want to be rude.
The plan of action: Continue to reduce portion size--I can always get something more. Explain before meals that I'm watching portion sizes. Use smaller dishes--I can't get two servings of mini-wheats into a small bowl.
EXERCISE! As I've mentioned, I don't want to go on a diet to lose weight. I want to change my habits so that I can live in the real world with real food and real temptations and real challenges. I'm excited that I was on the road and at a hotel for awhile this month and made healthy choices in my eating and portion size. I didn't hit McDonalds once!! (Hooray for Subway!) However, because I had excuses not to exercise--I was in a conference all day, I was at my relatives' house, I had a week-long migraine, etc.--I didn't back up healthy eating with exercise.
The challenge: It's hard to maintain exercise when you don't have access to your routine. And as soon as the routine is broken, it's hard to start up again. It's also really hard to be self-motivated when your head is pounding like a jack-hammer.
The plan of action: Determination. It didn't feel good to fall behind this month. So next month I'll do better. I don't like having a gut and a butt--they get in my way and make me feel trapped. I need to get into shape so that I can enjoy good health as I age. Food habits are coming along. I'm feeling good about my intake. Now I've got to work on the burn. And to quote Nike, I need to Just Do It! And when I've got a migraine, I need to force myself to go outside for a walk. It'll do me good if I can get out the door.
_______________________________
Here's a tip I learned from a Japanese friend: The Japanese language is structurally different from English. They don't use a lot of the interim words that we have. For example, we would say, "That apple is juicy and sweet." In Japanese, it would go "Juicy sweet apple." They describe what something is and then give it a name.
You can look at the enjoyment of eating in the same way. Instead of grabbing an apple, biting into it, and then saying, "Hm--that apple was juicy and sweet"; try instead describing it before you bite into it. "This apple I'm going to eat is juicy and sweet." Then when you bite into it, savor the juiciness and the sweetness as you are experiencing it--not after.
I tried this the next day when I was eating sushi by myself. It was the best sushi ever!! I slowed down and enjoyed every bite. I described it to myself before I took a bite and then experienced the flavors and sensations as I chewed. My friend believes that slowing down and savoring the experience of eating rather than scarfing things down will also help with portion control because I will be satisfied by the entire experience faster than if I was just waiting to feel full in order to feel satisfied.
I reckon I need to do this with brownie batter when next we meet.
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